#1 humor site on the 'net

Denture Cup

Smile while you drink - putting on a mug face

Denture Cup thanks to Diane Baugh

QuotaBills
Floss like a boss! - Unknown

Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown

Teeth are always in style. - Dr. Seuss

Irony is the hygiene of the mind. - Elizabeth Bibesco

Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

People like to trace their ancestry. - Richard Dawkins

The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller

We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown

My friend has false teeth - with braces on them. - Steven Wright

Too much freedom can lead to the soul's decay. - Prince

Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
is dental. - Ogden Nash

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. - Garrison Keillor

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


Nintendo Motor

Responsible Hi-Tech Redneck

GoosePrints

Stairway Roots

I Love Thanksgiving

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Turkey Not

Turkey Weather Forecast

Pass The CatSoup, Please

Peace Foot

Missing Piece Statue

Baby Juggling

Dog Tired After Work

How To Burn Fat

Canadian Car Crash

Treescape

Redneck Christmas Tree Transport

Three Cats Ago

That's Not A Knife

Someone Is Upset

Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane