#1 humor site on the 'net

City Beach Castle

Sandcastle competition in The Bronx

City Beach Castle thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
I surf to get tan. - Shane Dorian

Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Write injuries in sand, kindness in marble. - French Proverb

Ampersand: Sand you won't find at a beach - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pencil: A tiny tree used to draw a line in the sand - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in. - Phyllis Diller

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

Lines of gulls standing on glassy blue patches of wet sand. - Cathleen Schine

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Leadership, like swimming, cannot be learned by reading about it. - Henry Mintzberg

She's a skeleton in the sand right now. She comes and she goes. - Annalies Corbin

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone. - Arab Proverb

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone. - Jorge Luis Borges

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

It would be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further tan the next wisecrack. - Katharine Hepburn

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face! - Robin Williams

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

Clay. It's rain, dead leaves, dust, all my dead ancestors. Stones that have been ground into sand. Mud. The whole cycle of life and death. - Martine Vermeulen

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version