Christmas Tree Relief

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. - Lily Tomlin

Death will be a great relief. No more interviews. - Katharine Hepburn

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. - Mark Twain

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. - Rose

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Geometry: 1. What the acorn said after it grew up; 2. A tree made up of numbers and letters; 3. Without geometry, life is pointless. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

I'm one of those people who's not really turned on by baseball. My idea of a relief pitcher is one that's filled with martinis. - Dean Martin

Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, but which will bloom most constantly? - Emily Bronte