#1 humor site on the 'net

Candy Hairess

Where there's always enough candy

Candy Hairess thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Bacon is meat candy. - Unknown

Long on hair, sort on brains. - French Proverb

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Honeycomb: Hair styling tool used by bees - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

You're only as good as your last haircut. - Fran Lebowitz

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair. - Judith Stern

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

Business without profit is not business any more than a pickle is candy. - Charles F Abbott

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave. - Nicki Minaj

As long as I can wear a wig I can be any character, and in real life I can be myself. - Ginnifer Goodwin

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

The great thing about candy is that it can't be spoiled by the adult world. Candy is innocent. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

I'm acting when I serve as a hostess, when I run my wig business. I was born to act, and life itself is the greatest part. - Eva Gabor

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro


Deer Hunter Tattoo

Nope, Didn't See A Thing

Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up

Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids

Re-Ewes Me

It's A Keeper

Plankstanders

Millionaire Women

Laptop Cooler

Scan Scam

Motorcycle Taxi

I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts

New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

Down Under Bat

Muffler Hanger