QuotaBillsGolf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain
You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke
Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown
Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown
I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing. - Bette Midler
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown
Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown
If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer
Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham
You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford
One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter
In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis
Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump