#1 humor site on the 'net

Billionaire Thoughts

Charter members of the 'Get Rich Quick Club'

Billionaire Thoughts thanks to Bill Fast

Billionaire Thoughts thanks to Bill Fast

Billionaire Thoughts thanks to Bill Fast

QuotaBills
Marry money. - Max Shulman

I cried all the way to the bank. - Liberace

A fool and her money are soon courted. - Helen Rowland

Nobody every lost money taking a profit. - Bernard Baruch

The rich are different - they have more money. - Ernest Hemingway

All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire

Sometimes the cost of integrity is the loss of a friend. - Jack McDevitt

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. - Henry Ford

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

If a little money does not go out, great money will not come in. - Chinese Proverb

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. - J Paul Getty

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. - Peter deVries

A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money. - Everett Dirksen

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes. - Gore Vidal

Business, that's easily defined - it's other people's money. - Peter F Drucker

Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries. - T Dewitt Talmage

I don't think about financial success as the measurement of my success. - Christie Hefner

A sure way to lose happiness is to want it at the expense of everything else. - Bette Davis

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money!) - Unknown

If you don't know who you are, the stock market is an expensive place to find out. - George Goodman

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope

The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. - Marlon Brando

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money. - Jackie Mason

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. - David Letterman

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired, and get paid just enough money not to quite. - George Carlin

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. - H L Mencken

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. - Hannah More

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. - Andy Borowitz

Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market. - Robert Frost

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Kindness is the connection that links us all together and strengthens the bonds within our communities, neighborhoods, and families. - Rosalynn Carter


How To Conserve Gas

Rolling Shoes

How Twins Are Made

Cool Reading Room

Poor Lifetime

Be GarFul

Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally

Scooter Hearse

Thailand Ferry

Hard Hat Safety

Water Coolant

Spray-On Clothing