Biblical Humour

Religion: a great perhaps. - Francois Rabelais

Praise doesn't pay the bills. - German Proverb

I did my best, and God did the rest. - Hattie McDaniel

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God. - Thomas Jefferson

Praise the ripe field, not the green corn. - Unknown

I'm an atheist and I thank God for it. - George Bernard Shaw

Holy Mackerel: Fish served at Church supper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The crow flew closer, as if to hear its praises. - Emma Donoghue

Humankind's ladder to God is a ladder of deeds. - Sholem Asch

Some Catlick priest sprinkling incest over everyone. - Archie Bunker

God is always on the side of the strongest battalion. - Voltaire

When faith is lost, when honor dies, the man is dead! - John G Whittier

God gives nothing to those who keep their arms crossed. - African Saying

God does nothing but by prayer, and everything with it. - John Wesley

Forgiveness is like faith. You have to keep reviving it. - Mason Cooley

Jesus on Twitter would have been a pretty amazing thing. - Mark Batterson

He has all the characteristics of a god - except loyalty. - Sam Houston

God, it seems, is a verb, not a noun, proper or improper. - R Buckminster Fuller

God is at home, it's we who have gone out for a walk. - Meister Eckhart

Whatever you don't turn into Praise turns into Pride. - Mark Batterson

Talent is a loan from God for the relief of man's estate. - Jelal Ad-Din

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

You can hear the footsteps of God when silence reigns in the mind. - Sathya S Baba

Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible. - Mary McLeod Bethune

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

Faith must be enforced by reason... when faith becomes blind it dies. - Mahatma Gandhi

Man - a creature created at the end of a work week when God was tired. - Mark Twain

But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. - Vincent Van Gogh

Through suffering we realize how desperately we need God's presence. - Ravi Zacharias

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. - Mark Twain

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

Prayer is the difference between the best we can do and the best God can do. - Mark Batterson

Moses came down with the Ten Amendments, which were God's Bill of Wrongs. - Susie F

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. - Mark Twain

Democracy is also a form of religion; it is the worship of jackals by jackasses. - H L Mencken

It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart. - Mahatma Gandhi

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

God not only plays dice, he throws them in the corner where you can't see them. - Stephen Hawking

I won't give up, no matter what happens. I thank God for my unconquerable soul. - William Henley

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

God gave us the gift of lie; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. - Voltaire

Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking. - Khalil Gibran

We are as much as we see. Faith is sight and knowledge. The hands only serve the eyes. - Henry David Thoreau

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

Five main components of worship: the Lord's Supper, teaching, prayer, praise, and giving. - Ravi Zacharias

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than you want to get where God wants you to go. - Mark Batterson

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single kind act is better than a thousand head-bowings in prayer. - Saadi

I've always loved yoga because you get to connect to a deep religious truth while stretching your legs. - Katya Zamolodchikova

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God. - Erica Jong

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. - Tara Reid

I preach as though Christ was crucified yesterday; rose again from the dead today; and is coming back tomorrow. - Martin Luther

God never promises to remove us from our struggles. He does promise, however, to change the way we look at them. - Max Lucado

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson

So long as men praise you, you can only be sure that you are not yet on your own true path but on someone else's. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When faith replaces doubt, when selfless service eliminates selfish striving, the power of God brings to pass His purposes. - Thomas S Monson

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

Faith allows things to happen. It is the power that comes from a fearless heart. And when a fearless heart believes, miracles happen. - Unknown

God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16

The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity - an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work one has to do. - Bruce Barton

It is a matter of whether one wants to get rich or be rich. We can be rich in Christ Jesus or perhaps get rich in Egypt, but we cannot do both. - Vance Havner

Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell