Biblical Humour

He was a wise man who invented God. - Plato

The best way to get praise is to die. - Italian Proverb

Praising all alike, is praising none. - John Gay

I gave in, and admitted that God was God. - C S Lewis

I'm an atheist and I thank God for it. - George Bernard Shaw

God is closest to those with broken hearts. - Jewish Proverb

Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis

God will forgive me. That's his business. - Heinrich Heine

Have thy tools ready. God will find thee work. - Charles Kingsley

Faith consists in believing what reason cannot. - Voltaire

The prospects are bright as the promises of God. - Adoniram Judson

If there were no God, there would be no atheists. - G K Chesterton

Jesus was a hiker. The wilderness was His retreat. - Toni Sorenson

God never made a promise that was too good to be true. - Dwight L. Moody

Faith lightens the path your shadowed mind has to walk. - Michelle Horst

I had to deny knowledge in order to make room for faith. - Immanuel Kant

Where God has his church, the Devil will have his chapel. - Spanish Proverb

And if I please you so, my lover, remember praise is comely. - Countee Cullen

Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into. - Mohandas Gandhi

Until we meet again, may God bless you as he has blessed me. - Elvis Presley

Sin is what you do when your heart is not satisfied with God. - John Piper

God never sent hunger without sending something to satisfy it. - Ireland Proverb

God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends. - Ethel Mumford

Blind faith in your leaders, or in anything, will get you killed. - Bruce Springsteen

No man has ever praised two persons equally - and pleased them both. - Arthur Helps

Most people would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. - Norman Vincent Peale

Indigestion is charged by God with enforcing morality on the stomach. - Victor Hugo

It is not our long prayers but our believing God that gets the answer. - John G. Lake

Fools may our scorn, not envy raise,
For envy is a kind of praise. - John Gay

If you are big enough for your dream, your dream isn't big enough for God. - Mark Batterson

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. - Matthew 21:22

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

If Jesus were living in our culture, he would probably hang out in coffeehouses. - Mark Batterson

There's a difference between an intellectual faith and a personal, heart faith. - Billy Graham

If you are not willing to be used by God, ask God to make you willing to be willing. - F.B. Meyer

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Sometimes I get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. - Ansel Adams

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. - Peter De Vries

It is not the strength of your faith but the object of your faith that actually saves you. - Timothy Keller

No man preaches his sermon well to others if he does not first preach it to his own heart. - John Owen

Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the window which hope has opened. - Charles Spurgeon

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

Every time a child is born it brings with it the hope that God is not yet disappointed in man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Sex is the mysticism of materialism and the only possible religion in a materialistic society. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be. - Alan Watts

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much. - Mother Teresa

As Man alone, Jesus could not have saved us; As God alone, He would not; Made flesh, He could and did. - Malcolm Muggeridge

It's hard for me to imagine why a church that has younger members wouldn't have a blog component. - Mark Batterson

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing. - C S Lewis

If you put all your strength and faith and vigor into a job, and try to do the best you can, the money will come. - Lawrence Welk

The antidote to frustration is a calm faith, not in your own cleverness, or in hard toil, but in God's guidance. - Norman Vincent Peale

Sometimes the very presence of God is barred by our presuppositions and our intense and constant desire for triumph. - Ravi Zacharias

Trust God for the impossible - miracles are His department. Our job is to do our best, letting the Lord do the rest. - David Jeremiah

Faith isn't about always having all the answers. Faith is about believing that God will always come through for you. - Unknown

Discipleship does not come from positions of prominence, wealth, or advanced learning. The disciples of Jesus came from all walks of life. - James E Faust

The secret of my success? It is simple. It is found in the Bible, 'In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.' - George Washington Carver

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan