#1 humor site on the 'net

Beltometer

Waist not, want not!

Beltometer thanks to Diane Baugh

Belt buckle for weight loss

QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

Have a healthy disregard for the impossible. - Larry Page

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Cliff Side Camping

Childhood Obesity

Meccano Shoe

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

OCD Floor Tiles

Wedding Cake for Men

Baby Birth

Chicken Roost

Magnetic Personality

Cold Corners

Swiss Minigun

Underwater Plane

Fire Destroyed

Groj Sale

You May Pet Me

Whatever Time

Cutting Off Board

Car Swarm

We Open

Cloud Computing

Feather Fashion

Nitrate

Proper English

Winter SOS