#1 humor site on the 'net

Beach Trick - Head's Up

Giving your face a rest at the beach

Beach Trick - Head's Up thanks to Mike King

Beach Trick - Head's Up thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
I surf to get tan. - Shane Dorian

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Write injuries in sand, kindness in marble. - French Proverb

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in. - Phyllis Diller

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

What a morning - fresh as if issued to children on a beach. - Virginia Woolf

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Leadership, like swimming, cannot be learned by reading about it. - Henry Mintzberg

She's a skeleton in the sand right now. She comes and she goes. - Annalies Corbin

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone. - Arab Proverb

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffet

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone. - Jorge Luis Borges

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

It would be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further tan the next wisecrack. - Katharine Hepburn

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face! - Robin Williams

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

Clay. It's rain, dead leaves, dust, all my dead ancestors. Stones that have been ground into sand. Mud. The whole cycle of life and death. - Martine Vermeulen

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien


Courtesy Option

Ab Enhancer

Family Planning Advice

Cracks Me Up

Anger Release Machine

Closing Time

Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service

Beach Breakfast

Bicycle Dining

Shark Bike

Thrilling Read

Extra Weight

Yoga's Balanced Lifestyle

Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Souped Up Car

Darth VadeHer

Submergible

Happy People

Today's Paper Read Yesterday

Someone Is Upset

Texas Diet

Moose Crossing

Lost Meal

Plane Oops!