#1 humor site on the 'net

Auntie Gravity Research

Europe's new attempts at controlling the economy's inflation

Auntie Gravity Research thanks to Mel Hardman

QuotaBills
Love is metaphysical gravity. - R Buckminster Fuller

There is no education like adversity. - Benjamin Disraeli

There is no gravity. The earth sucks. - Graffito

Education is a system of imposed ignorance. - Noam Chomsky

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. - Claus Moser

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. - Mark Twain

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

I've been noticing gravity since I was very young. - Cameron Diaz

Civilization is a race between education and catastrophe. - H G Wells

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. - Clarence Thomas

You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul. - Joseph Addison

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

Study in the course of your life to do the greatest amount of good. - John McDonough

Wit is the rarest quality to be met with among people of education. - William Hazlitt

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. - Malcolm Forbes

Communism has defeated itself everywhere except in American colleges. - Paul Harvey

I will study and prepare myself… and someday my chance will come. - Abraham Lincoln

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. - Laurence J Peter

God grants us an uncommon life to the degree we surrender our common one. - Max Lucado

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that is education. - Will Rogers

Society produces rogues and education makes one rogue cleverer than another. - Oscar Wilde

College Education: A four-year plan for confusing a young mind methodically. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yale: 1. A well known Ivy League university; 2. What southern cheerleaders do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Descartes commanded the future from his study more than Napoleon from the throne. - Oliver Holmes

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

The things taught in colleges and schools are not an education, but the means of education. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. - Woody Allen

The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives. - Robert M Hutchins

If I had only three years to serve the Lord, I would spend two of them studying and preparing. - Donald G Barnhouse

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them. - Bill Vaughan

Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed. - Joseph Stalin

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott

Education: that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding. - Ambrose Bierce

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. - Robert Frost

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

People have to see that there is a high degree of complexity about belonging to a gang. It's a symptom, not a problem. - Greg Boyle

A convention is a splendid place to study human nature. Man in a crowd is quite a different creature than man acting alone. - William Jennings Bryan

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

If you study a subject every day, for one hour a day, for five days a week - in five years you will become an expert in that area. - Earl Nightingale

That is the exploration that awaits you! Not mapping stars and studying nebula, but charting the unknown possibilities of existence. - Leonard Nimoy

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

There is not better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth. - Jean Giraudoux

I'm healthy, have a loving and adorable family, great hunting dogs, a gravity defying musical carer and most importantly, fuzzy-headed idiots hate me. - Ted Nugent

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. - Garry Trudeau

To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue ... gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness. - Confucius

If you want to succeed, worry less about what college you get into and more about doing your homework, taking care of your chores and being nice to other people. - Jay Mathews

To teach how to live without certainty and yet without being paralysed by hesitation is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy, in our age, can do for those who study it. - Bertrand Russell

President Obama smoked so much pot in college he never learned to spell. Which is why he's confusing the word "ruining" the country with "running" the country. - Kilburn Hall

Your education experience, talent intelligence, and financial situations don't matter. The important thing is the direction in which you focus your unique, powerful, creative mind. - Marc Allen

The standard model of particle physics describes forces and particles very well, but when you throw gravity into the equation, it all falls apart. You have to fudge the figures to make it work. - Lisa Randall

I think education is power. I think education is power. I think that being able to communicate with people is power. One of my main goals on the planet is to encourage people to empower themselves. - Oprah Winfrey


I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts

New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

Down Under Bat

Muffler Hanger

Construction Playground

Couch Dog vs. Paint Shop Pros

Spaghetti Tree

Take Away Van

Will To Live

Redneck Bra

Politician Plane

Millennial Jump Start

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Granny Smith Apple

Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart