#1 humor site on the 'net

Vacation At Last

When you know it's time for a holiday

Vacation At Last thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. - Swedish Proverb

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday. - Ted Kooser

I've never seen a monument erected to a pessimist. - Paul Harvey

Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist. - Robert G. Allen

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin

Worry is today's mice nibbling on tomorrow's cheese. - Unknown

The secret of success is to make your vocation your vacation. - Mark Twain

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

I try not to worry about things I can't do anything about. - Christopher Walken

Smile. It will bring serenity to the most stressful situations. - Garnet Hill

When the situation is hopeless, there's nothing to worry about. - Edward Abbey

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

Dear Monday, you should take a holiday. Trust me, no one will miss you. - Unknown

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist - except an old optimist. - Mark Twain

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strength. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The visionary leader is an optimist, for no pessimist ever made a great leader. - William W Francis

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. - Jonathan Katz

If you worry about yesterday's failures, then today's successes will be few. - Unknown

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists. - Jean Rostand

Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles... it empties today of its strength. - Mary Englelbreit

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. - Benjamin Franklin

I worry about scientists discovering someday that lettuce has been fattening all along. - Erma Bombeck

Concentrate on what you're doing - then you won't have time to tense up and worry. - Unknown

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; it reproduces itself by crippling our willingness to act. - Howard Zinn

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. - Mark Twain

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. - Robert Benchley

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Cabell

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying. - Dale Carnegie

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. - Dale Carnegie

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster


2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Inglish Spikkers Welcom

Where Astronauts Hang Out

Wrap Around Tree

Take The Bus Home

Bent Car Sculpture

International Truck Bed

Strong Man

Snowbound Train

Not Without A Washer

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Washing Machine Cat

Ruined Bacon

Kellogg's Fire

Tip Discount

Staff Meeting

Prince Bag

Ice Cream Clouds

Sun Dial Fail

Rolling Stop

Ghetto Hammock

Cooking For Guys

Walkies

Ultimate Border Control Protection