The Good Old Days

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Where a man feels pain he lays his hand. - Dutch Proverb

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating. - Richard Neville

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler