The Good Old Days

Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis

Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom. - Arthur Schopenhauer

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. - C S Lewis

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

It is my custom to call this book 'An Anatomy of All the Parts of the Soul.' - John Calvin

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

God loves us too much to leave us alone to contend with the pain, guilt and loneliness of our present life. - Josh McDowell

The more pain that's referenced or implied, the deeper the laugh can be because the laughter heals the pain. - Mimi Kennedy

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright