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Swine Flu Novel

Charlotte's got a new web

Swine Flu Novel thanks to Kyle Ziegler

"Why did you do all this for me?" he asked.
"I don't deserve it. I've never done anything for you."
"You have been my friend," replied Charlotte.
"That in itself is a tremendous thing." - E.B. White, Charlotte's Web

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QuotaBills
Racist Pig: A hog on wheels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - George Carlin

When you treat a disease, first treat the mind. - Chen Jen

I see the poem or the novel ending with an open door. - Michael Ondaatje

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Those who have the disease called Jesus will never be cured. - Brennan Manning

In every first novel the hero is the author as Christ or Faust. - Oscar Wilde

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine. - Irwin Edman

The first thing that put me on the map was my Sherlock Holmes novel. - Nicholas Meyer

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. - Robert A. Heinlein

A novel is a piece of prose of a certain length with something wrong with it. - Unknown

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The number one disease of business leaders in North America is procrastination. - Napoleon Hill

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Equine Influenza: A viral respiratory disease which causes flu-like symptoms in horses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

People were never "living with their disease." We cured them. Or they died from it. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

As it takes two to make a quarrel, so it takes two to make a disease, the microbe and its host. - Charles V. Chapin

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. - Unknown

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin


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