Swine Flew

Racist Pig: A hog on wheels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For a desperate disease, a desperate cure. - Latin Proverb

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. - Unknown

When you treat a disease, first treat the mind. - Chen Jen

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind. - Albert Einstein

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Pigs had just officially sprouted wings and were flying alongside airplanes. - Jennifer L Armentrout

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. - Robert A. Heinlein

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured. - Anton Chekhov

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I don't want a flu jab. I like getting flu. It gives me something else to complain about. - David Letterman

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

If he don't go calling the cops “pigs” or one of those other epilets, he'll be all right. - Archie Bunker

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

I think I have a disease called spontaneous disclosure. I need to tell everyone my life story instantaneously. - Kelly Ripa

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin