#1 humor site on the 'net

Swine Flew

How to run away from the flu

Swine Flew thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

That'll do, pig, that'll do. - Babe

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. - Unknown

When you treat a disease, first treat the mind. - Chen Jen

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Love is the only disease that makes you feel better. - Sam Shepard

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured. - Anton Chekhov

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Not enough people know what Lyme disease is and the dangers of being bitten by an insect. - Gigi Hadid

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. - William Osler

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. - Unknown

Asthma is a disease that has practically the same symptoms as passion except that with asthma it lasts longer. - Unknown

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield


How To Sharpen Pencils

Chevforodge

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Free Stuff

Baby Bird Chorus

Hang On

Home Depot Delivery

Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital

Not Stuck

Motorcycle For Sale

Dog Cross

Pigeon Drink

Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge