Swine Flew

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - George Carlin

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. - Unknown

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine. - Irwin Edman

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. - Robert A. Heinlein

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

We have to live our lives as if we are dying of a fatal disease. Because we are. - Phineas Narco

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured. - Anton Chekhov

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

All of us are guinea pigs in the laboratory of God. Humanity is just a work in progress. - Tennessee Williams

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

As it takes two to make a quarrel, so it takes two to make a disease, the microbe and its host. - Charles V. Chapin

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. - Unknown

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism. - Robert Frost

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman