#1 humor site on the 'net

Swine Flew

How to run away from the flu

Swine Flew thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. - Robert A. Heinlein

Antitoxidote cruisin' through my system looking for some disease to attack. - Archie Bunker

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The number one disease of business leaders in North America is procrastination. - Napoleon Hill

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

We have to live our lives as if we are dying of a fatal disease. Because we are. - Phineas Narco

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. - Cale Yarborough

All of us are guinea pigs in the laboratory of God. Humanity is just a work in progress. - Tennessee Williams

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

As it takes two to make a quarrel, so it takes two to make a disease, the microbe and its host. - Charles V. Chapin

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield


Dutch Rollerblades

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Goat Tree

Mind The Pedestrians

Trapped in the 5th Dimension

Job Retraining

Wet Floor Caution

Chef Multitasking

Camera Waterfall

Irony Pin

Cellfies

Where Safety Begins

Bad Ass Fire Truck

What A Deal

Moon Theft

Sushi Spine

Redneck Skateboard

Polar Bear Photographer

Friday the 13th

LadyNet

I Can Explain It

Parallel Parking Car

Frog Long Jumper's Rest Break

Road To Nowhere