#1 humor site on the 'net

Sun Protection

Ya can't fix 'Stupid'

Sun Protection thanks to Glenna Kennedy

Wish they would invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes

Sun Protection thanks to Glenna Kennedy

QuotaBills
Could you patent the sun? - Jonas Salk

Into the sky to win or die. - Christopher Paolini

The sky already fell. Now what? - Steven Wright

The brain is wider than the sky. - Emily Dickinson

Manners are love in a cool climate. - Quentin Crisp

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

I'll tell you how the sun rose - a ribbon at a time. - Emily Dickinson

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. - Maori Proverb

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. - Bob Dylan

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

If you want a place in the sun, you've got to expect a few blisters. - Abigail Van Buren

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

The sunshine of life is made up of very little beams that are bright all the time. - Dr. John Aiken

Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day. - Carol Krucoff

Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars. - Violeta Parra

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun. - Pablo Picasso

The art of art, the glory of expression, and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity. - Walt Whitman

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. - Corrie Ten Boom

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Too much sun after a Syracuse winter does strange things to your head, makes you feel strong, even if you aren't. - Laurie H. Anderson

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg


Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow

Target Entry

Squirrel Feeder Trap

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Florida Sewer Rat

Crane Drop

Special Touch

Muscle Control

Selfie Stuck

Organic Compromise