Stealth Woman

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

A dreamer and a thinker understood the value of imagination. He called his imagination a "holy curiosity." - Albert Einstein

The poet is in command of his fantasy, while it is exactly the mark of the neurotic that he is possessed by his fantasy. - Lionel Trilling

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield