#1 humor site on the 'net

Sick Tombstone

Some warnings come too late

Sick Tombstone thanks to Dwayne Martin

QuotaBills
The healthy die first. - Italian Proverb

My people, I die innocent! - Louis XVI

One has only to die to be praised. - German Proverb

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died. - Peter Ustinov

You were born an original, don't die a copy. - Unknown

Death may be the greatest of all human blessings. - Socrates

The act of dying is also one of the acts of life. - Marcus Aurelius

When the rich make war it's the poor that die. - Jean-Paul Sartre

The day we stop dreaming is the day we start dying. - Mark Batterson

Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor. - Joseph Addison

Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse. - Irene L. Luce

Flight attendants don't die, they just fly higher. - Unknown

Live as long as you can. Die when you can't help it. - James Brown

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Each time we don't say what we want to say, we're dying. - Yoko Ono

The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions. - Ellen Glasgow

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall

Cause Change & Lead
Accept Change & Survive
Resist Change & Die - Ray Norda

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

But from this earth, this grave, this dust, my God shall raise me up, I trust. - Walter Raleigh

You need to bury the hatchet. No need to hold grudges. That only weighs you down. - Ken Shamrock

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks

I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by loving. - Anais Nin

Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once. - William Shakespeare

Patriots always talk of dying for their country and never of killing for their country. - Bertrand Russell

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. - Henry David Thoreau

With all the fearful strain that is upon me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die. - Abraham Lincoln

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

Most God-ordained dreams die because we are not willing to do something that seems illogical. - Mark Batterson

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Will Rogers

I got well by talking. Death could not get a word in edgewise, grew discouraged, and traveled on. - Louise Erdrich

The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.999 percent of them are made by people who are still alive. - Joshua Bruns

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist. - Edgar W Howe

The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where one ends, and the other begins? - Edgar Alan Poe

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. - George Burns

If you make every game a life-and-death proposition, you're going to have problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot. - Dean Smith

When my time on Earth is gone and my activities here are past, I want that they should bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass. - Bobby Knight

We do not attach any intrinsic value to the Cross; this would be sinful and idolatrous. Our veneration is referred to Him who died upon it. - James Gibbons

Grandfather: Death is nothing to be afraid of.
Renee: It's not death I'm afraid of.
Grandfather: What is it, then?
Renee: Life - Yvonne Wood


Microsoft Innovation

Complaint Jar

First Selfie

Leave My Drink Alone

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Great Scott!

Golden End of the Rainbow

Big Blade Snow Plow

Emergency Bridge Repair Team

A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version

Boat Launch

Redneck Motorcycle Transport

Denver Booted

Little Drinking Problem

Roller Coaster Skiing

Youth Walk

Horn Blower

Rembrandt's Anatomy Lessons

Aye Matey

Rice Litter Box

Middle Column?

Yoga in Palm Springs

Redneck Outhouse

This Cracks Me Up