Sick Tombstone

How can I die? I'm booked. - George Burns

I want to die young at an advanced age. - Max Lerner

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet. - Kin Hubbard

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. - Clyde Campbell

No operatic star has yet died soon enough for me. - Thomas Beecham

When the rich make war it's the poor that die. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Ya look like one of those pall buriers at a funeral. - Archie Bunker

Life insurance is the only game you win when you die. - Unknown

The American Way of life, si! The American Way of death, no! - Archie Bunker

It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. - Emiliano Zapata

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. - J K Rowling

Spend your days pursuing the things you want said at your funeral. - Peter Legge

If life must not be taken too seriously, then so neither must death. - Samuel Butler

In an artist's life, death is perhaps not the most difficult thing. - Vincent van Gogh

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. - Benjamin Franklin

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi

The trick is to make sure you don't die waiting for prosperity to come. - Lee Iacocca

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen

The greatest thing in life is to die young - but delay it as long as possible. - George Bernard Shaw

"Fearless" is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. - Taylor Swift

The general outlook is not that the person has died but that the person has lived. - William Buchanan

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks

Work as if you were to live a hundred years.
Pray as if you were to die tomorrow. - Benjamin Franklin

Christ has not only spoken to us by his life but has also spoken for us by his death. - Soren Kierkegaard

Any actress who appears in public without being well-groomed is digging her own grave. - Joan Crawford

I'm a Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. - Jack Kerouac

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. - Rabindranath Tagore

Are you a man with a conscience, or just a shark who will die when you stop moving forward? - Roderick Vincent

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Will Rogers

The immature man wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mature man wants to live humanely for one. - Wilheim Stekel

When Christ died, He died for you individually just as much as if you'd been the only man in the world. - C S Lewis

2% of the people think, 3% of the people think they think, and 95% of the people would rather die than think. - George Bernard Shaw

I went to the bank and reviewed my savings. I found out I have all the money I'll ever need if I die tomorrow. - Henny Youngman

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. - George Burns

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

We had hoped to have been bringing you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon, he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion. - Ronnie Corbett