#1 humor site on the 'net

Sick Tombstone

Some warnings come too late

Sick Tombstone thanks to Dwayne Martin

QuotaBills
Death takes no bribes. - Benjamin Franklin

Into the sky to win or die. - Christopher Paolini

When good Americans die they go to Paris. - Oscar Wilde

No operatic star has yet died soon enough for me. - Thomas Beecham

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse. - Irene L. Luce

Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway. - John Wayne

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - Joe Louis

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Live so that the pastor won't have to lie at your funeral. - Phil Callaway

His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad. - Red Skelton

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

In truth,there was only one christian and he died on the cross. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. - Mark Batterson

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. - H.H. Munro

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall

Violence is like a weed - it does not die even in the greatest drought. - Simon Wiesenthal

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. - Fulton J. Sheen

We have art so that we do not die of reality. Reality is too much with us. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them - but not for love. - William Shakespeare

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try. - Mary Kay Ash

You need to bury the hatchet. No need to hold grudges. That only weighs you down. - Ken Shamrock

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

If the rich could pay people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living. - Yiddish Proverb

Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there'd have been a fight. - Theodore Roosevelt

I'm a Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. - Jack Kerouac

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been. - Robert H. Schuller

When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. - J.P. Donleavy

There's a thing that keeps surprising you about stormy old friends after they die: their silence. - Ben Hecht

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. - George Bernard Shaw

He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less. - C S Lewis

Fatalism is the creed of a will that is dying to its possibilities and seeks to drag the imagination with it. - Ravi Zacharias

Inherited wealth is a big handicap to happiness. It is as certain death to ambition as cocaine is to morality. - William K Vanderbilt

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success. - Stephen Covey

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

We had hoped to have been bringing you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon, he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion. - Ronnie Corbett


Panorama Dog

Revenue Canada Subscription Cancellation

Why You Shouldn't Let Your Dog Drink Beer

Reflection

Plane Tennis

New IRS Form

Wisconsin Cheese

MAGA King

Baby Formula

When Gas Costs Too Much

Shoemobile

Salmon Street

Pandemic Treaty

People Of The River

SUV Sinkhole

Hope

Blonde's 710 Cover

Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy