Sick Tombstone

Death takes no bribes. - Benjamin Franklin

Into the sky to win or die. - Christopher Paolini

When good Americans die they go to Paris. - Oscar Wilde

No operatic star has yet died soon enough for me. - Thomas Beecham

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse. - Irene L. Luce

Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway. - John Wayne

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - Joe Louis

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Live so that the pastor won't have to lie at your funeral. - Phil Callaway

His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad. - Red Skelton

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

In truth,there was only one christian and he died on the cross. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. - Mark Batterson

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. - H.H. Munro

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall

Violence is like a weed - it does not die even in the greatest drought. - Simon Wiesenthal

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. - Fulton J. Sheen

We have art so that we do not die of reality. Reality is too much with us. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them - but not for love. - William Shakespeare

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try. - Mary Kay Ash

You need to bury the hatchet. No need to hold grudges. That only weighs you down. - Ken Shamrock

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

If the rich could pay people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living. - Yiddish Proverb

Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there'd have been a fight. - Theodore Roosevelt

I'm a Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. - Jack Kerouac

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been. - Robert H. Schuller

When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. - J.P. Donleavy

There's a thing that keeps surprising you about stormy old friends after they die: their silence. - Ben Hecht

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. - George Bernard Shaw

He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less. - C S Lewis

Fatalism is the creed of a will that is dying to its possibilities and seeks to drag the imagination with it. - Ravi Zacharias

Inherited wealth is a big handicap to happiness. It is as certain death to ambition as cocaine is to morality. - William K Vanderbilt

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success. - Stephen Covey

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

We had hoped to have been bringing you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon, he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion. - Ronnie Corbett