Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Shimmy Car-nage
When your car has a sort of shimmy
A woman ran over a mattress on the highway and decided not to worry about it, and kept driving. The ensuing jumble finally whipped around enough to tear a hole in the fuel tank. The subsequent lack of fuel finally brought her vehicle to a halt. She managed to drive 30 miles with a 60 pound tangle wrapped around the drive shaft. She had it towed to a dealership and complained that the vehicle had a 'sort of shimmy' when driving at high speed. Here's what they found at the dealership...
Mind over mattress. - Stephen Covey
Early Rising: Triumph of mind over mattress - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement. - Brian Tracy
Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress. - Unknown
Suffering is the fuel in the engine of civilization. - Matthew W. Stover
The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa
Lasting Impression: What a Sumo wrestler leaves in his mattress - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass
The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown
Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running. - Zig Ziglar
The world is an oyster, but you don't crack it open on a mattress. - Arthur Miller
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller
I want people to think through issues. I'm just tired of blind alignment. - Joel Salatin
Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Building a visionary company requires one percent vision and 99 percent alignment. - Jim Collins
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone. - Fred Allen
You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki
Integrity is making sure that the things you say and the things you do are in alignment. - Katrina Mayer
It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright
My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette
My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown
It's been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it's trying to blackmail me. - Gary Delaney
Understand why and how your audience uses technology and then start trying to align your communications efforts. - Brian Reich
The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard
Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable. - Maya Angelou
It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill
There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan
A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller
More than anything else, prayer enables you to see your own heart and brings you into alignment with God's heart. - Ravi Zacharias
The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin
Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks. - Johann Gottfried Von Herder
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift
Early Rising: Triumph of mind over mattress - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement. - Brian Tracy
Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress. - Unknown
Suffering is the fuel in the engine of civilization. - Matthew W. Stover
The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa
Lasting Impression: What a Sumo wrestler leaves in his mattress - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass
The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown
Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running. - Zig Ziglar
The world is an oyster, but you don't crack it open on a mattress. - Arthur Miller
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller
I want people to think through issues. I'm just tired of blind alignment. - Joel Salatin
Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Building a visionary company requires one percent vision and 99 percent alignment. - Jim Collins
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone. - Fred Allen
You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki
Integrity is making sure that the things you say and the things you do are in alignment. - Katrina Mayer
It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright
My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette
My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown
It's been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it's trying to blackmail me. - Gary Delaney
Understand why and how your audience uses technology and then start trying to align your communications efforts. - Brian Reich
The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard
Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable. - Maya Angelou
It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill
There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan
A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller
More than anything else, prayer enables you to see your own heart and brings you into alignment with God's heart. - Ravi Zacharias
The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin
Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks. - Johann Gottfried Von Herder
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift
Coffee Days
New Audi
Netherlands Parking Lot
Wine Bibber
Tylenol Ban
Politician Plane
Seaweed Burger
Louisiana Potholes
Marathon Runner Tip
Spit Priorities
How To Argue With A Woman
Montreal Protest
Suitcase Staycation
Math Lab Bust
Life And Beer Are Very Similar
Girlfriend Math
Shopping With Your Husband
Billy Goat Gruff
Handwritting
Political Floor
Costco Beach Towel
GoosePrints
Fish Fingers
PEI Weather