#1 humor site on the 'net

Santa Stop Lights

Do you smell something burning?

Santa Stop Lights thanks to Ken Ward

Merry Chrismas from BC Hydro

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Reindeer: A horse with a hat rack - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My alone time is for everyone's safety. - Unknown

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Pride causes us to use our gifts as though they came from ourselves, not benefits received from God, and to usurp our benefactor's glory. - Bernard of Clairvaux

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon


No Go Intersection

Public Transportation In Scotland

Guarded Nights

Financial Meltdown

Fox Kabob

Microwaved Bulb... Watts You Won't See

Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test

House 'Broke'rage

Trampoline Apartment

Behind Every Man

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon