Redneck Water Heater

There's no place like home. - The Wizard of Oz

Going to the woods is going home. - John Muir

Home is a refuge for all good men. - Unknown

Ideal Guest: One who stays at home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Homemade dishes drive one from home. - Thomas Hood

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

Home is an invention on which no one has yet improved. - Ann Douglas

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

You see much more of your children once they leave home. - Lucille Ball

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. - George Bernard Shaw

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books. - Sigmund Freud

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserve. It is life's undress rehearsal, its back-room, its dressing room. - Harriet Beecher Stowe

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

I love working for myself from home. I get along with everyone in the office; I can show up in pajamas, and I always win Employee of the Month. - Missy Miwac

At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon