Redneck Water Heater

Ideal Guest: One who stays at home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A good home must be made, not bought. - Joyce Maynard

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

The words you speak become the house you live in. - Hafiz

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

He's got that big house to maintain in San Clemency. - Archie Bunker

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to. - John E Pearce

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

The only ultimate disaster that can befall us is to feel ourselves at home on this earth. - Malcolm Muggeridge

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

I don't want to end up in an old folks' home wearing incompetence pads. I'm still compost mentis. - Harriet Wynn

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books. - Sigmund Freud

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answers to, in the strongest conjuration. - Charles Dickens

Perhaps someday I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow. - Sylvia Plath

I love working for myself from home. I get along with everyone in the office; I can show up in pajamas, and I always win Employee of the Month. - Missy Miwac

At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison