Redneck Water Heater

Home is wherever I'm with you. - Edward Sharpe

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person. - Helen Rowland

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

God is at home, it's we who have gone out for a walk. - Meister Eckhart

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. - Hillary Clinton

Go big or go home. Because it's true. What do you have to lose? - Eliza Dushku

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

Mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heart throb. - Leroy Brownlow

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Liberate yourself today. At work or at home - you don't have to be how others expect you to be. - Elaine Harrison

She did not know where her home was anymore, and this idea didn’t frighten her like it should. - T.M. Williams

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright