Redneck Sprinkler

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. - Roger Miller

Some Catlick priest sprinkling incest over everyone. - Archie Bunker

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown