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Redneck Christmas Lights

Bubba's double puts up the Christmas decorations

Redneck Christmas Lights thanks to Barry McCartney

How to grab your neighbour's attention this year

Bubba truly outdid himself this year with his Christmas decorations. Many people came screaming to his house offering assistance. A 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder, and almost killed herself putting it against the house - was she ever ticked off when she found out that Bubba was fake!

QuotaBills
Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

A bore is a person who lights up the room simply by leaving it. - L.J. Peter

May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out. - JRR Tolkien

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. - Rod Serling

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

We need to learn to set our course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship. - Omar N Bradley

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. - G.C. Lichtenberg

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off the lights for economical rather than romantic reasons. - Lillian Carter

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won't feel like you are alone anymore. - Unknown

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon

Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. - Hafez


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