Redneck Car Repair

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Set wide the window. Let me drink the day. - Edith Wharton

A window of opportunity won't open itself. - Dave Weinbaum

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. - Tom Peters

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Moving doesn't change who you are. It only changes the view outside your window. - Rachel Hollis

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

A habit cannot be tossed out the window. It must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time. - Mark Twain

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stop the words now. Open the window in the center of your chest and let the spirits fly in and out. - Rumi

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

We do not need to attend classroom training programs for everything. Observation opens the windows of knowledge around us. - Sukant Ratnakar

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com