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Police Dogs in Alabama

Statement from the Birmingham, Alabama Police Chief

The city of Birmingham Police Department has announced this morning that all German Shepherd police dogs will be replaced by coon hounds, due to the fact that the city is not having any problems with Germans.
Police Dogs in Alabama thanks to Roy Taylor

QuotaBills
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

I hear the tusks are looser in Alabama. - WC Fields

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa. - Groucho Marx

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


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