Pa Loves Women

Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny

How can I die? I'm booked. - George Burns

Death is the price of revolution. - H. Rap Brown

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. - Unknown

America is a land where men govern, but women rule. - John M Brown

Life insurance is the only game you win when you die. - Unknown

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely. - Gautama Siddharta

Absolute silence leads to sadness. It is the image of death. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions. - Ellen Glasgow

If any of you cry at my funeral I'll never speak to you again. - Stan Laurel

Praise follows truth afar off, and only overtakes her at the grave. - James R Lowell

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

Violence is like a weed - it does not die even in the greatest drought. - Simon Wiesenthal

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. - Mark Twain

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

Santanism: The belief that when you die, your soul gets stuck in the chimney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The general outlook is not that the person has died but that the person has lived. - William Buchanan

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. - Adele Brookman

Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there'd have been a fight. - Theodore Roosevelt

There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction. - Salvador Dali

I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death. - Patrick Henry

No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. - Viktor Frankl

Why buy flowers for Valentine's Day? Just go to a cemetery and collect a dozen off a few graves. - Jarod Kintz

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways. - Stephen V Benet

I tell ya, I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighbourhood!" - Rodney Dangerfield

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

We are all the fools of time and terror: Days Steal on us and steal from us; yet we live, Loathing our life, and dreading still to die. - George Gordon Byron

He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast. - Leonardo da Vinci

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

We had hoped to have been bringing you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon, he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion. - Ronnie Corbett

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan