#1 humor site on the 'net

Middle East Airlines

Airbus 'grounded' on maiden flight

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

This new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane ever built, sits just outside it's hangar in Toulouse, France, without a single hour of airtime on the clock...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies (ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as engine run-ups prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi. The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Then they took all four engines to takeoff power with a virtually empty aircraft. Not having read the run-up manuals, they had no clue just how light an empty A340-600 really is...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The take-off warning horn was blaring away in the cockpit because they had all 4 engines at full power. The aircraft computers thought they were trying to take off, but the flaps/slats had not been configured properly...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm. This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The computers automatically released all the brakes, and set the aircraft rocketing forward - with the following result...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technology crew had no idea that this is a safety feature so that pilots can't land with the brakes on.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew thought to throttle back the engines from their max power setting, so the £200 million aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totalling it.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown due to the news blackout in the local media.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

£200 million aircraft meets wall. Wall wins.

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

If I cannot fly, let me sing. - Stephen Sondheim

There is no flying without wings. - French Proverb

To elude by flight is a glorious victory. - Horace

Wishing to be a bird so you can Fly Away. - Unknown

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Never eat spinach just before going on the air. - Dan Rather

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

Do what is right, even if you're flying solo. - Unknown

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. - Will Rogers

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

Don't be scared to fly along. Find a path that is your own. - Unknown

Flying without feathers is not easy; my wings have no feathers. - Plautus

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

We laugh, we cry, we make time fly. We are best friends, my mom and I. - Unknown

Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first. - Unknown

With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

A man who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal. - American Proverb

Time passes too fast. Like a hummingbird flying by, it's just a blur to my eyes. - Amanda Leigh

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

She would stay there, flying across the sea like a mermaid with wings, until the end. - Natalia Marx

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky. - Unknown

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?" - Robin Williams

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

He who would learn to fly on day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests. - Epictetus

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Be not penny-wise. Riches have wings. Sometimes they fly away of themselves, and sometimes they must be set flying to bring in more. - Francis Bacon

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


Missing Piece Statue

Baby Juggling

Dog Tired After Work

How To Burn Fat

Canadian Car Crash

Treescape

Redneck Christmas Tree Transport

Three Cats Ago

That's Not A Knife

Someone Is Upset

Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Young Superman

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Bustache

CheckMate

Plane Oops!

Sand Dive

Manitoba Home Security System

WinDoor

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Mirror Solution