#1 humor site on the 'net

Middle East Airlines

Airbus 'grounded' on maiden flight

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

This new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane ever built, sits just outside it's hangar in Toulouse, France, without a single hour of airtime on the clock...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies (ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as engine run-ups prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi. The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Then they took all four engines to takeoff power with a virtually empty aircraft. Not having read the run-up manuals, they had no clue just how light an empty A340-600 really is...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The take-off warning horn was blaring away in the cockpit because they had all 4 engines at full power. The aircraft computers thought they were trying to take off, but the flaps/slats had not been configured properly...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm. This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The computers automatically released all the brakes, and set the aircraft rocketing forward - with the following result...

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technology crew had no idea that this is a safety feature so that pilots can't land with the brakes on.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew thought to throttle back the engines from their max power setting, so the £200 million aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totalling it.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown due to the news blackout in the local media.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.

Middle East Airlines thanks to Barry Leinbach

£200 million aircraft meets wall. Wall wins.

QuotaBills
The voice is nothing but beaten air. - Seneca

The only victory over love is flight. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The lure of flying is the lure of beauty. - Amelia Earhart

It's opener there in the wide open air. - Dr. Seuss

Never eat spinach just before going on the air. - Dan Rather

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

The bird who dares to fall is the bird who learns to fly. - Unknown

Don't be scared to fly along. Find a path that is your own. - Unknown

Flying without feathers is not easy; my wings have no feathers. - Plautus

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

For those determined to fly, having no wings is just a little detail. - Unknown

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first. - Unknown

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

Pigs had just officially sprouted wings and were flying alongside airplanes. - Jennifer L Armentrout

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

A man who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal. - American Proverb

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

Time passes too fast. Like a hummingbird flying by, it's just a blur to my eyes. - Amanda Leigh

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

She would stay there, flying across the sea like a mermaid with wings, until the end. - Natalia Marx

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

God puts you on the runway and takes you off the runway. What you do on the runway is up to you. - Unknown

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

Learn to close your eyes and trust. Learn to open your heart and love. Learn to take the risk and fly. - Maxime Lagace

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

The blazing wings of dawn spirited me away, Dragon-swift above the suns-rise, flying to my destiny beyond the clouds. - Marc Secchia

He who would learn to fly on day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests. - Epictetus

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau


This Rocks

Arch Support

Tired Of Snow

Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea

World Peas

Tired Truck

Harmacy

Redneck Cotter Pin

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Guitar Scooter

1947 X-ray Machine

Grouchy German

Knock Hard

Economy Flight Plan

Canadian Car Crash

Recipe Holder

Seuss Army Knife

Dustpan Waterfall

Pita Pan

Drum Kit Chandelier

TP Roll Art

Shark Circles

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Stairway Chute