#1 humor site on the 'net

Legal Disclosure

When Grandma goes to court

Legal Disclosure thanks to Bill Fast

QuotaBills
Lawyers are the jackals of commerce. - Elbert Hubbard

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper. - Taylor J Reid

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Good lawyers know the law. Great lawyers know the judge. - Unknown

You're breakin' about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen. - Archie Bunker

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. - Otto von Bismarck

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

The wisest man is the silent one. Examine his actions. Judge him by them. - Karen M Moning

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles

People who use lawyers are not people you would really want to hang around with. - Deborah Ross

Even when laws have been written down, they ought not always to remain unaltered. - Aristotle

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

Put least trust in him who is foremost to praise you,
Nor judge of a road till it draw to the end. - John B O'Reilly

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. - John F Kennedy

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

One does not, by knowing all the physical laws as we know them today, immediately obtain an understanding of anything much. - Richard P Feynman

When the monetary damages are smaller, lawyers will find themselves less zealous in their pursuit of what they call justice. - Dean O'Hare

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

Men became scientific because they expected law in nature and they expected law in nature because they believed in a lawgiver. - Ravi Zacharias

It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier

Lawyers have the singular distinction of being able to play the hero and villain at the same time. Depending on where you stand in a courthouse. - Lenox Mhlanga

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda


Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day

Mustache Breeze

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable