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H1N1 Flu Mask

Deja Flu - protection against the return of H1N1

H1N1 Flu Mask thanks to Roy Bishop

Bubba's first medical patent - stretching the limits

In case we run out of the H1N1 vaccine, here's a mask you can make yourself. It's even compatible with the wearing of glasses. One thing though - make sure your mask is properly sanitized!

QuotaBills
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Dust Rags: Dad's Underwear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Biplane: The advice I got from my mother on purchasing underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. - Bill Murray

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I don't want a flu jab. I like getting flu. It gives me something else to complain about. - David Letterman

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. - Oscar Wilde

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

The concept that vaccine-induced immunity is superior in any way to natural immunity is sheer nonsense. - Dr Steven Pelech

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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