In case we run out of the H1N1 vaccine, here's a mask you can make yourself. It's even compatible with the wearing of glasses. One thing though - make sure your mask is properly sanitized!
QuotaBillsGrief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
Dust Rags: Dad's Underwear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Biplane: The advice I got from my mother on purchasing underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb
Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. - Bill Murray
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
I don't want a flu jab. I like getting flu. It gives me something else to complain about. - David Letterman
I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. - Oscar Wilde
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
The concept that vaccine-induced immunity is superior in any way to natural immunity is sheer nonsense. - Dr Steven Pelech
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler