#1 humor site on the 'net

Glassman

Superman's early splat days

Glassman thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Adults are just obsolete children. - Dr. Seuss

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I preferred sewing to bossing little children. - Martha Jones

Implement: Mischievous child's garden tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love children if they're cooked properly. - WC Fields

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

A happy childhood has spoiled many a promising life. - Robertson Davies

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

Adolescence is the conjugator of childhood and adulthood. - Louise J. Kaplan

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. - Lady Bird Johnson

What you teach your children, you also teach their children. - Unknown

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. - Pearl S. Buck

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. - Thomas Paine

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

Spoiled Rotten: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

What can we make of the inexpressible joy of children? It is a kind of gratitude. - Annie Dillard

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. - Nancy Astor

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

Daddies don't just love their children every now and then, it's a love without end. - George Strait

It's not that age brings childhood back again. Age merely shows what children we remain. - Goethe

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

The only way to write a great book is to write it with the eyes of a child who sees things for the first time. - Arnold Bennett

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler

When I know that, if I have no inspiration whatsoever, when I come and I just feel empty, I have nothing, I know that I can still play the scene. - Christopher Walken

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner


Parking Squeeze

Tree Barking

Elephant Sunset

TP Safety

Locked Up Bull Elk

Duck Crossing

Peeping Snake

Hydro Water Power

Cutting Edge Delivery

Baby Scan

Redneck Mirror

Skateboard Statue

WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

Auto Strap

Never Run a Red Light

Bee Safe