#1 humor site on the 'net

Fetch Stick

Bubba's hunting dog prefers sticks to ducks

Fetch Stick thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks. - A.A. Milne

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

If you're comfortable in a situation, stick with it. - Red Auerbach

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket. - George Orwell

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. - Josh Billings

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Stick with the optimists. It's going to be tough enough even if they're right. - James Reston

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. - Jesse Ventura

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours. - Eric Idle

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

Hold your head high, stick your chest out. You can make it. It gets dark sometimes but morning comes ... keep hope alive. - Jesse Jackson

We are all omnibuses in which our ancestors ride, and every now and then one of them sticks his head out and embarrasses us. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Equal Rights Church

Bring me Solo and the Wookie

Monongahela River

Hockey Rivalry: Vancouver Canucks vs. Calgary Flames

Extreme Skateboarding

Dentist Drill

Rabbit Boost

Potting Pot

Devil's Food Rose Cake

Computer Memory Family

Tearable Puns

Baby Hatching

Free Paper

Welcome to New Zealand

Squeegee Clothing

Stay!

Ice Bird

Black Plague II

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Perfectly In Tune With Nature

Lawn Time Awakening

Flatulent Cow

Attention Span

Redneck Cat Found