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Different Drugs
Drug problem to make the world a better place
America would be a better place with this type of drug problem
Drugs stronger than cocaine, crack or heroin
The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question. "Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?"
I replied, "I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.
I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields. I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood, and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.
God bless the parents who drugged us."
The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question. "Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?"
I replied, "I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.
I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields. I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood, and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.
God bless the parents who drugged us."
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Creativity is a drug I cannot live without. - Cecil B. DeMille
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. - Lily Tomlin
A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
Words must surely be counted among the most powerful drugs man ever invented. - Leo Rosten
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones
The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Some of these people need ten years of therapy - ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of therapy. - Oscar Wilde
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Theresa
Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor
Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Creativity is a drug I cannot live without. - Cecil B. DeMille
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. - Lily Tomlin
A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
Words must surely be counted among the most powerful drugs man ever invented. - Leo Rosten
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones
The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Some of these people need ten years of therapy - ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of therapy. - Oscar Wilde
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno
I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Theresa
Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor
Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
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