Casualty Way
Where outpatients are laid to rest
The last place to run out of patients
QuotaBillsMedicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal.
- Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler