#1 humor site on the 'net

Carlusion

This is just one vehicle - what a paint job!

Carlusion thanks to Kyle Ziegler

QuotaBills
Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Camouflage: Wise guise. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Noise creates illusions. Silence brings truth. - Maxime Lagace

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals. - Ronnie Corbett

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman


Cure for Internet Addiction

Seal LOL

Keyboard Seating

Illusive Dice

Cockroach Cancer

Time Management

People Crossing

Cozy Home

Redneck Faucet

Duck That Did Not Duck

Chewie, We're Home

Introducing the iPhone 20

Meateor

Ancient Shiloh

British Accountant

Ruling On Criticism

Going Into Space

Domino's Delivers Everywhere

Lord of the Wings

Crossed Wires

Monday Lisa

Pets Come First

If You Need Space

Economy Flight