#1 humor site on the 'net

Car Shower

Cooling off - 'weather' you like it or not

Car Shower thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

The pessimist is half-licked before he starts. - Thomas A. Buckner

Pessimism is the triumph of worry over matter. - Unknown

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. - Unknown

Of all the things to worry about; the Wookie has no pants. - Mark Hamill

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin

Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you. - Dolly Parton

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Don't worry about your heart. It will last as long as you live. - WC Fields

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. - Oscar Wilde

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. - Leo Buscaglia

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strength. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The dead won't bother you. It's the living you've got to worry about. - John Wayne Gacy

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. - Dale Carnegie

If you worry about yesterday's failures, then today's successes will be few. - Unknown

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. - Robert Frost

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. - Benjamin Franklin

I worry about scientists discovering someday that lettuce has been fattening all along. - Erma Bombeck

Don't worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try. - Jack Canfield

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. - Unknown

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. - Olin Miller

Pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; it reproduces itself by crippling our willingness to act. - Howard Zinn

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. - Mark Twain

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Cabell

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep. - Dale Carnegie


Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow

Target Entry

Squirrel Feeder Trap

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Florida Sewer Rat

Crane Drop

Special Touch

Muscle Control

Selfie Stuck

Organic Compromise

Crab Collection

Basketball Car

Apathy Mountain

Ready To Leave

Portable Samurai

CPU Marshmallows

Hokey Pokey Clinic

Brazil Banisters