#1 humor site on the 'net

Camping Tools

Bubba's tips on how to roast hot dogs

Camping Tools thanks to Roy Bishop

Some wiener roasts get too hot

QuotaBills
I hate camping, but I love summer camp. - Zooey Deschanel

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Camping is something I've done all my life. - Stefanie Powers

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Is that weird, taking my Louis Vuitton bag camping? - Jessica Simpson

My camping days are over, but I might consider glamping. - Christine Feehan

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. - Dave Barry

Technology is the campfire around which we tell our stories. - Laurie Anderson

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

In a well-ordered universe, camping would take place indoors. - Morgan Matson

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. - Dave Barry

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

I am 100% in the camp that says forgiveness is mostly about the forgiver. - Hillary Clinton

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. - Tommy Cooper

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

On our own, we are marshmallows and dried spaghetti, but together we can become something bigger. - C.B. Cook

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Economies of scale are a good thing. If we didn't have them, we'd still be living in tents and eating buffalo. - Jamie Dimon

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin


Calling In Sick - Snow Job for the Boss

Look At It This Way

Camouflaged Owls

Snow Geese

Quantum Physiques

Typewriter Parts

Irish Flu Shots

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Winter Blues

Pink Freud

Geriatric Flight

Chili Rub

Safety Pin Face

New York's Morning Cup of Java

Pole Position

Before Political Correctness

Tooth Loss

Organic Compromise

Classic Ballet Ad

Redneck Air Conditioning Controls

End Of World Car Sale

Digging Up A Date

Tomato Sprouts

Shuttle Bus Driver