#1 humor site on the 'net

Attention Span

Parents - they can be so demanding

Attention Span thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Beautiful things don't ask for attention. - Steve Conrad

I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention. - Unknown

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

If you want to get my attention, wear a pirate outfit. - Michelle Branch

If you're confused you're not paying attention. - Unknown

The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way. - Keanu Reeves

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

Don't listen to their words, fix your attention on their deeds. - Albert Einstein

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes. - Antisthenes

In the successful organization, no detail is too small to escape close attention. - Lou Holtz

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no such thing as an attention span. People have infinite attention if you are entertaining them. - Jerry Seinfeld

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother. - Booker T. Washington

Those who are unhappy have no need for anything in this world but people capable of giving them their attention. - Simone Weil

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

We're at a point in history where everyone needs to pay attention to politics. Too much is at stake for us to be apathetic. - Kevin Costner

To maintain a powerful life force, forget yourself, forget about living and dying, and bring your full attention into this moment. - H E Davey

Fearlessness requires attention and receptivity - it takes focus to stand in the still eye of a tornado and not be swept away by it. - Susan Piver

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


WatchCat

Disk Drive

Unemployed Politicians

Aye Matey

Redneck Calculator

Pocket Knots

Where Do The Amish Go For A Vacation?

Life Extension

4th Dimension Bookshelf

Water Value

Flexible Toothbrush

Redneck Dent Repair

Veterinarian or Taxidermist?

Same Sex Marriage in Canada

CardboardZilla

Indian Writing

Ancient Shiloh

1938 Cost Of Living

Black Olives Matter

Peckish

Awesome 'P' Door

Snake Shortener

Scientific Driving Test

Fire Engine