#1 humor site on the 'net

Anti-Bird Protection

Bird control measures for airplanes

Anti-Bird Protection thanks to Beth Garvin

In the wake of the recent Hudson River incident, the FAA is implementing new anti-bird measures for all airliners

QuotaBills
Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Fowl: A four-letter bird. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bird House: Home Tweet Home. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Cataract: Where cats hang their coats. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - English Proverb

The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs. - Tanyas

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. - Alan Perlis

Woodpecker: 1. A knocking bird; 2. A 17th Century prosthetic device. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

Birds find shelter during the rain, but eagles avoid rain by flying above the clouds. - Abdul Kalam

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

Mosquito: 1. A small insect designed by God to make us think better of flies; 2. The state bird of New Jersey. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Success is full of promise till a man gets it; and then it is a last year's nest from which the birds have flown. - Henry Ward Beecher

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz


Statue of Libertea

Beaver Stretching

Social Media Explained

Famous Equations

Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore

Crocpox

Deer Me!

Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug