#1 humor site on the 'net

Acapulco Waterfront Property

Windows and doors optional - swim right off your own balcony

Acapulco Waterfront Property thanks to joe-kster

Yes, water is on the front, and comes with yacht, senor!

Acapulco Waterfront Property thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Luxury is solitude and silence. - Paul-Henri Spaak

It is impossible to overdo luxury. - French Proverb

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait. - Jose Simon

Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity. - G K Chesterton

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump

Mexico's making a fortune off the United States. - Donald Trump

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it is not luxury. - Coco Chanel

Threats are the last resort of a man with no vocabulary. - Tamora Pierce

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit. - Edward Abbey

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mexican marijuana, which he called the schoolboy's consolation. - James Purdy

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have spent most of my life playing pool. The rest of it, I have wasted. - Unknown

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffett

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

Delay, says Dr. Manner, is a luxury which people with right-now cancers cannot afford. - Paul Harvey

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. - Kurt H Adler

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

A sentimentalist is simply one who desires to have the luxury of an emotion without paying for it. - Oscar Wilde

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

Bathtubs are the epitome of luxury. Either you have no money to own one or you have no time to use one. - Akilnathan Logeswaran

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

Mexican, Mediterranean, Italian, sushi, I love it all. Put it on a plate, and as long as I know what it is, I will eat it. - Camren Bicondova

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising