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A Mother's Day Special

Don't ignore your gut feelings!

A Mother's Day Special thanks to Kyle Ziegler

QuotaBills
Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. - Oprah Winfrey

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Mother is the home we come from. She is nature, soil, ocean. - Erich Fromm

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

A mother is a story with no beginning. That is what defines her. - Meghan O'Rourke

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

My mother was my role model before I even knew what that word was. - Lisa Leslie

A mother is your first friend, your best friend, your forever friend. - Unknown

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. - Abraham Lincoln

When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce. - Woody Allen

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, Just wait. - Judy Tenuta

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day

Mustache Breeze

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable