QuotaBillsLife is a zoo in a jungle. - Peter De Vries
Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields
I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd
The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman
Trouble came - as trouble so often does - with a monkey. - Paul Collins
By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
A zoo is a place of refuge where savage beasts are protected from people. - Gerald Lieberman
I'm thinking of buying a monkey. Then I think, 'Why stop at one?' - Robert Downey Jr
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker
Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain
If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan
My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman
My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White
Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey
I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put
the batteries. - Milton Berle
They're picking bananas in Brazil and them Indians down there, they don't care about what you look like. - Archie Bunker
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
Basketball, a game which won’t be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus high and return the giraffes to the zoo. - Ogden Nash
I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around. - Ernest Hemingway
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas." - Claude Pepper