#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter Tires

Fir-get those old rubber tires - it's time to spruce'n up your drive!

Winter Tires thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Ukraine logger's inspiration for never-flat tires

QuotaBills
Don't retire, retread! - Robert K Otterbourg

Follow the grain in your own wood. - Howard Thurman

And after winter folweth grene May. - Geoffrey Chaucer

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

If winter comes, can spring be far behind? - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Power tires only those who do not have it. - Giulio Andreotti

No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn. - Hal Borland

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls. - Unknown

The groundhog said six more weeks of winter so I ate him. - Wile E. Coyote

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. - Harrison Ford

The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco. - Mark Twain

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

I can look at the knot in a piece of wood until it frightens me. - William Blake

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

Xylophonist: A superstitious person who goes around knocking on wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The mind is not a vessel that needs filling but wood that needs igniting. - Plutarch

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

John Wooden was a hall of fame character long before he was a hall of fame coach. - John C Maxwell

Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day. - Carol Krucoff

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

As the sculptor devotes himself to wood and stone, I would devote myself to my soul. - Toyohiko Kagawa

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a tire. - Roy Orbison

If Springtime crawls out of the wild mouths of flowers, then surely, Winter crawls out of mine. - Cecilia Llompart

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

The sun always comes up. Spring always comes after winter. The river always reaches the ocean. Always. - Maxime Lagace

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat. - Unknown

The only thing more depressing than another six weeks of winter would be having to spend them in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. - Unknown

My girlfriend wants me to stain the new wooden fence in her backyard. So I'm going to eat spaghetti over it for a few weeks. - Rick Lantern

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

I'm always tinkering with something - suddenly I'll think I can work with wood, but then I'll realize I can't, so I go back to sewing. - Melissa McCarthy


Psychic Fair

Panda Push

Lunch Apple

Protective Wings

Socket To Me

Work Not

I Shoot People!

Warm Them Up

Nautical Sense of Humour

Vegan Brownies

Worst Action Photographer

New Ghost Rider

Paint Ladder

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Redneck Post Support

Indiana Jeans

First Performance

Puzzle Makers

Fishing Dog

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Black Sheep Friday

Black Friday Scam

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Aussie Gazpacho