#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter SOS

What are your survival priorities?

Winter SOS thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Sheamus's winter survival tip

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Now is the winter of our discontent - William Shakespeare

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

If winter comes, can spring be far behind? - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

An old man in love is like a flower in winter. - Portuguese Proverb

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

The groundhog said six more weeks of winter so I ate him. - Wile E. Coyote

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. - Geraldo Rivera

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The time will come when winter will ask what you were doing all summer. - Henry Clay

Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day. - Carol Krucoff

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Usually the thing that signifies that I'm done with the winter and all that is that I start skateboarding. - Shaun White

Too much sun after a Syracuse winter does strange things to your head, makes you feel strong, even if you aren't. - Laurie H. Anderson

The only thing more depressing than another six weeks of winter would be having to spend them in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. - Unknown

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


Before Morning Coffee

Sons Of Arthritis

Challenge Accepted

Subway Camouflage

In Stitches

Great White

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Can I Lick It

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Velociraptor Defined

Redneck Muffler Repair

Drama Queen Diary

He Looks Just Like His Father!

Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience

Redneck Calf Feeder

BaCoN T-Shirt

Go Winterized

Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check