#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter SOS

What are your survival priorities?

Winter SOS thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Sheamus's winter survival tip

QuotaBills
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Now is the winter of our discontent - William Shakespeare

And after winter folweth grene May. - Geoffrey Chaucer

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

In the kingdom of hope, there is no winter. - Russian Proverb

Survival is a major contributor to longevity. - Unknown

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn. - Hal Borland

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls. - Unknown

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul. - Victor Hugo

Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day. - Carol Krucoff

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. - William Glasser

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

If Springtime crawls out of the wild mouths of flowers, then surely, Winter crawls out of mine. - Cecilia Llompart

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Fame is not the glory! Virtue is the goal, and fame only a messenger, to bring more to the fold. - Vanna Bonta

They seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if they had surprised a butterfly in the winter woods. - Edith Wharton

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. - Virginia Satir

The only thing more depressing than another six weeks of winter would be having to spend them in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. - Unknown

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs