Twin Dish

TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cobra: Bra worn by Siamese twins. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth but not its twin. - Barbara Kingsolver

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Satellite imagery is the only way we can map the looting patterns effectively. - Sarah Parcak

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden