#1 humor site on the 'net

Twin Dish

New satellite TV system for pets

Twin Dish thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Happiness was born a twin. - Lord Byron

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Very few people know this man was born an only twin. - Henny Youngman

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth but not its twin. - Barbara Kingsolver

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Cellfies

Where Safety Begins

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Bad Ass Fire Truck

What A Deal

Moon Theft

Sushi Spine

Redneck Skateboard

Polar Bear Photographer

Friday the 13th

LadyNet

I Can Explain It

Parallel Parking Car

Frog Long Jumper's Rest Break

Road To Nowhere

Hobbit Love

Vibrations

On Short Notice

Octopi

Big Birthday Surprise

Cliff Side Camping

Childhood Obesity

Meccano Shoe

OCD Floor Tiles