Twin Dish

Happiness was born a twin. - Lord Byron

TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

A satellite has no conscience. - Edward R Murrow

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

A memorandum isn't written to inform the receiver, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump