Twin Dish

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth but not its twin. - Barbara Kingsolver

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared: twins. - Josh Billingsad

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz