#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Speed Camera

Zero tolerance for speeders - no 2nd chance...

Texas Speed Camera thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead! - David Farragut

Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance. - Unknown

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

Speed is not a priority, just enjoy your hike. - Barry Putra

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

I am not a speed reader.
I am a speed understander. - Isaac Asimov

Once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. - Charles M Shulz

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

Long runs improve your endurance but shorter intervals improve your speed. They are mutually beneficial for a distance runner. - Eliud Kipchoge

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell


The 'New' Economy

Floating Gazebo

Cordless Plumbing

USB Vacuum Cleaner

Men's Wedding Photos

Help For Dead Children

Canine Golf Caddy

Gas-Resistant Pram

Dubai Ski Hill

Cat Chess

Happy Periods

Stuffed Owl

Lego Brick

Wedding Games

Eat Your Vegetables

Bread Pitt

Humpback Kayak

Spill Proof Cup

First Segway

Nosey Bird

Cyclist Roast

Bike Vaulting

Balanced Food Delivery

Gone To Market