#1 humor site on the 'net

Socket To Me

Watts with this guy?

Socket To Me thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Plugging into the right socket can be a heads up, enlightening experience

QuotaBills
A light heart lives long. - William Shakespeare

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

Must we really light a candle to see the sun? - Wernher von Braun

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. - Charles Barkley

Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. - Jonathan Swift

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Why don't you bore a hole into your head and let the sap run out? - Groucho Marx

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head. - Steven Wright

Good instincts tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out. - Michael Burke

Just because it pops into my head does not mean it should come out of my mouth. - Unknown

Ignore the naysayers. Really the only option is, head down and focus on the job. - Chris Pine

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. - Anton Chekhov

There are two kinds of light – the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures. - James Thurber

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops - let the rain sing you a lullaby. - Langston Hughes

Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. - Bono

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light. - Unknown

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

I exercise at least five times a week with stretching, Pilates, push-ups, planks, sit-ups, squats and light weights. - Reba McEntire

Too much sun after a Syracuse winter does strange things to your head, makes you feel strong, even if you aren't. - Laurie H. Anderson

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism, or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. - Martin Luther King Jr

It is obvious that we can no more explain a passion to a person who has never experienced it than we can explain light to the blind. - T S Eliot

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms. - Terence McKenna


Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?

Tall Guy Bike

Lord Voldemort Rock

Illusionary

Copperhead Tree

Dream Big

Spot the Man's Head Hidden in the Coffee Beans

British Survey

Political Promise Transporter

Jam Packed Suitcase

All White Meat

Alien Moon Landing

Nothing But Net

Bible Bar

Branding Inspiration for Graphic Designers

Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment

Sunday Weather Forecast

On The Eighth Day

Moses Parting the Ice Field

Texas Limo

No Smoking Fish