Socket To Me

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

What's done in the dark will be paraded in the light. - Charles Wynn

Every day a piano doesn't fall on my head is good luck. - Meg Rosoff

The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. - William Hazlitt

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

The head thinks, the hands labor, but it's the heart that laughs. - Liz Curtis Higgs

Why don't you bore a hole into your head and let the sap run out? - Groucho Marx

I have a feeling my Check Liver Light may come on this weekend. - Unknown

Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye. - Helen Keller

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

Good instincts tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out. - Michael Burke

When nothing goes right, you have to face forward and take it on head first. - Kyo Shirodaira

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine. - Christopher Plummer

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

You do not lead by hitting people over the head; that is assault, not leadership. - Dwight D Eisenhower

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

If ignorance goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights to George Bush's head. - Jim Hightower

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Life is a classroom. Only those who are willing to be lifelong learners will move to the head of the class. - Zig Ziglar

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

Hold your head high, stick your chest out. You can make it. It gets dark sometimes but morning comes ... keep hope alive. - Jesse Jackson

Remembering that each of us will take our turns in darkness and in light, let us be light for one another when the darkness falls. - Unknown

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Life is an arrow - therefore you must know
What mark to aim at, how to use the bow -
Then draw it to the head and let it go. - Henry Van Dyke

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn and shine with increasing clearness on your path. - Jim Rohn