#1 humor site on the 'net

Socket To Me

Watts with this guy?

Socket To Me thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Plugging into the right socket can be a heads up, enlightening experience

QuotaBills
His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

I grew up with action movies in my head. - Christian Kane

Life is pharmaceutical from head to cuticle. - David McCord

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World. - Christopher Columbus

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

If light is in your heart, you will find your way home. - Rumi

It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness. - Chinese Proverb

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. - Groucho Marx

Irony became the head that bit its tail and then there is no way out. - Alejandro G Inarritu

The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul. - Victor Hugo

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

Good instincts tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out. - Michael Burke

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. - Rodney Dangerfield

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. - Jennie Jerome Churchill

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffett

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head. - Unknown

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. - Rabindranath Tagore

There are two kinds of light – the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures. - James Thurber

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

The art of art, the glory of expression, and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity. - Walt Whitman

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light. - Unknown

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single kind act is better than a thousand head-bowings in prayer. - Saadi

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

We are all omnibuses in which our ancestors ride, and every now and then one of them sticks his head out and embarrasses us. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

If a person empties their purse into their head no one can take it away from them. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. - Benjamin Franklin

I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging the future but by the past. - Patrick Henry

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener

Whale Photobomb

World Peas