Redneck Water Skiing

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. - Rose

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler