Redneck Water Skiing

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown