Redneck Watch

Serenity now! - Frank Costanza (on Seinfeld)

Hot Time: A clock in an oven - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere. - Jim Farley

Our costliest expenditure is time. - Theophrastus

It takes a long time to grow young. - Pablo Picasso

The days of the digital watch are numbered. - Tom Stoppard

Lack of time is actually lack of priorities. - Tim Ferriss

Tomorrow is often the busiest time of the year. - Spanish Proverb

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life

A year from now you'll wish you had started today. - Unknown

The present is the point at which time touches eternity. - C S Lewis

Forever is a long time, but not as long as it was yesterday. - Dennis H'Orgnies

If you're there before it's over, you're on time. - James J Walker

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now. - Mort Sahl

A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men. - Ronald Dahl

Your motivation is your pay packet on Friday. Now get on with it. - Noel Coward

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

Time is a vindictive bandit to steal the beauty of our former selves. - Raphael

I used to think I'd like less grey hair. Now I'd like more of it. - Richie Benaud

Quarantine: When a youth locks himself in his bedroom for months at a time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The only way to be absolutely safe is to never try anything for the first time. - Magnus Pike

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Leap year gives me extra time to reflect on how unproductive I am with extra time. - Homer Simpson

I am long on ideas, but short on time. I expect to live to be only about a hundred. - Thomas A. Edison

It's surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time. - Barbara Kingsolver

The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time. - Charles F. Kettering

I am going to give a long speech today. I haven't had time to prepare a short one. - Winston Churchill

A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never quite sure. - Lee Segall

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it. - Plutarch

I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle. - Steven Wright

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

I really want to play Princess Leia. Stick some big pastries on my head. Now that would be interesting! - Ewan McGregor

Bathtubs are the epitome of luxury. Either you have no money to own one or you have no time to use one. - Akilnathan Logeswaran

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket. - Groucho Marx

The capital that we believed would flourish for ten thousand years has now become a lair for the wolves. - Onin Ki

Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch. - Jane Austen

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Service is the rent we pay for being. It is the very purpose of life, and not something you do in your spare time. - Marion Wright Edelman

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

To be loved at first sight, a man should have at the same time something to respect and something to pity in his face. - Stendhal

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar. - Robert Brault

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm. - Mahatma Gandhi

Doing well with blogging is not about writing one key post, it is about performing day after day and helping a few people at a time. - Aaron Wall

Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects. - Herodotus

Living as we do in an age of noise and bluster, success is now measured accordingly. We must all be seen, and heard, and on the air. - Daphne du Maurier

Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now. - Denis Waitley

In the marathon a crazy athlete can just keep pushing from the beginning; at a championship you don't need a time just to win the race. - Haile Gebrelassie

Now I'm getting sad, just thinking about how it would feel to be parted from my sweet self. Lucky me: I will always have my own company. - Marie Rutkoski

I know of no other man in our time, or indeed in recent history, who so convincingly demonstrated the power of the spirit over material things. - Stafford Cripps

Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons. Neither the offender nor the offended are any more themselves. - Blaise Pascal

Have a bias towards action - let's see something happen now. You can break that big plan into small steps and take the first step right away. - Indira Gandhi

Freedom comes only to those who no longer ask of life that it shall yield them any of those personal goods that are subject to the mutations of time. - Bertrand Russell