Redneck Revenge

Man is a god in ruins. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am an atheist... thank God. - Dave Allen

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

God created man, but I could do better. - Erma Bombeck

You had no faith to lose and you know it. - Bob Dylan

I do not believe in God and I am not an atheist. - Albert Camus

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. - Henny Youngman

I once dieted so religiously I quit eating in Church. - Zig Ziglar

I had to deny knowledge in order to make room for faith. - Immanuel Kant

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

Never pray to win, but to do your best - for God has no favorites. - Dorothy I. Welker

Time is a vindictive bandit to steal the beauty of our former selves. - Raphael

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. - Genesis 1:31

God created Adam lord of all living creatures, but Eve spoiled it all. - Martin Luther

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

God's mercy and grace give me hope - for myself, and for our world. - Billy Graham

Unless you assume a God, the question of life's purpose is meaningless. - Bertrand Russell

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass. - Archie Bunker

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

Every evening I turn worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway. - Mary C. Crowley

No man can be called friendless when he has God and the companionship of good books. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking. - Khalil Gibran

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it. - Josh Billings

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. - Andre Gide

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right. - Max Lucado

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. - Brooks Atkinson

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry. - Richard Dawkins

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm. - William Cowper

God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? - Bible

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan