Redneck Pool Table

Wherever I sit is the head of the table. - H.L. Mencken

At a round table there is no dispute about place. - Italian Proverb

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

The Meathead swooped down on the table like a plague of crocuses. - Archie Bunker

The game of billiards has destroyed my naturally sweet disposition. - Mark Twain

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright

Thirteen at a table is unlucky only when the hostess has only twelve chops. - Groucho Marx

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Insight comes, more often than not, from looking at what's been on the table all along. - David McCullough

It is not hard to compose, but what is fabulously hard is to leave the superfluous notes under the table. - Johannes Brahms

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. - Stephen King

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak