Redneck Hurricane Survival Kit

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Flood: A river too big for its bridges - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Floods and diseases and pestillentaries - Archie Bunker

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb

Oppression can only survive through silence. - Armen de Monteflores

A poet can survive everything but a misprint. - Oscar Wilde

Survival is a major contributor to longevity. - Unknown

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

Creative minds have been known to survive any sort of bad training. - Anna Freud

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul. - Victor Hugo

You will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you survive. - Sheryl Sandberg

Better one line that will survive the author than a hundred books outlived. - Unknown

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. - Doug Larson

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. - Wallace Irwin

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive. - Nicholas Johnson

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. - William Glasser

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. - Oscar Wilde

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

It is not the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. - Virginia Satir

Love without hope will not survive. Love without faith changes nothing. Love gives power to hope and faith. - Toba Beta

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

Plenty of people who survive tragedies end up ambivalent about danger--frightened by it, yet strangely drawn to it. - Keith Ablow

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper He,
amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. - Martin Luther

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive. - Unknown

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. - J K Rowling

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. - Maya Angelou

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Victory at all cost, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival. - Winston Churchill

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Not every man can carry a full cup. Sudden elevation frequently leads to pride and a fall. The most exacting test of all is to survive prosperity. - Oswald Sanders

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster