Redneck Hurricane Survival Kit

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Flood: A river too big for its bridges - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I don't want to survive. I want to live. - 12 Years a Slave

A poet can survive everything but a misprint. - Oscar Wilde

Survival is a major contributor to longevity. - Unknown

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

I might survive a few days at sea. Probably not as long as Pi. - Suraj Sharma

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. - Unknown

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Creative minds have been known to survive any sort of bad training. - Anna Freud

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul. - Victor Hugo

Cause Change & Lead
Accept Change & Survive
Resist Change & Die - Ray Norda

Better one line that will survive the author than a hundred books outlived. - Unknown

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. - Wallace Irwin

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive. - Andy Grove

It is not so much where my motivation comes from but rather how it manages to survive. - Louise Bourgeois

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive. - Nicholas Johnson

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. - William Glasser

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. - Nicolas Chamfort

Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. - Joseph Campbell

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. - Oscar Wilde

It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive, but those who can best manage change. - Charles Darwin

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

Plenty of people who survive tragedies end up ambivalent about danger--frightened by it, yet strangely drawn to it. - Keith Ablow

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper He,
amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. - Martin Luther

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. - J K Rowling

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. - Maya Angelou

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

Victory at all cost, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival. - Winston Churchill

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Not every man can carry a full cup. Sudden elevation frequently leads to pride and a fall. The most exacting test of all is to survive prosperity. - Oswald Sanders

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster